Responsibility and Fatherhood

It has been a while since my last post. I am not sure why it has taken me so long, but I think it is because I have literally been thinking about the topic I am posting on today. Will is six weeks old tomorrow. He is changing so incredibly fast as anyone who is paying attention to our family photo album knows well. I have been thinking a great deal about the responsibility I have as a father. It's a lot and on somedays I feel up to it and on others I don't. I guess if all I had to worry about was being what our more "sensitive popular culture" defines as a good father (supportive, participative, coddle them, give them memories, teach the citizenship, expose them to the world, etc.) things would not be too bad. And, it's not like culture's list is a) a bad list or b) an accomplishable list. In many ways it is a spectacular list that outlines the resurrgence of the necesarry role of fathers in the lives of their children. In many ways, it is almost undoable.

Here is my issue with what culture is currently defining as fatherhood. It focuses entirely on the role of the father in the life of the child rather than a set of outcomes that we would like to see for the child. It's not: "raise children who play well with with others" but "spend time with your child". It seems prescriptive to me. If we take care of our responsibilities and make sure to do everything right, things will work out fine for the kid. In many cases, this may very well prove to be true but it makes you wonder about what society has in mind when they think about the outcomes we want for the children we raise.

This takes me to my last point and the real reason I am writing this message today. As a Christian, I have a much larger calling as a father than what society has stated. I am responsible for the spiritual upbrining of my son. That means that on my day of judgement, God will hold me accountable for my actions in this most crucial role. Of course, God is gracious and we all make mistakes, and yadda yadda. I guess the bottom line is that as I have been thinking about how I can work to raise a son who loves Jesus, I have become extremely aware of two things 1) How weak I am spiritually and 2) How little I actually have in terms of an intimate and intensly personal relationship with Jesus. I have great belief and faith in Christ and His promises and glory. I have great knowledge about His word and commandments. But do I love, really love, the being that is Christ. What do I do that seeks out a real relationship with Christ? Isn't that the whole point? And, to this point, how do I help my son have a real, meaningful, alive, thriving, and personal and loving relationship with Christ?

I think this is my highest calling as a father. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not even sure where to fully start. I'm not sure that I can even fully commit "everything" in this pursuit yet. But, this is a pursuit that begins as I open myself up to Christ each day and it is one I will begin pursuing with earnest.

Things with Will are fantastic. He is verbalizing more and moving around more. He has amazing head strength and is already holding his head up pretty well. He is also going a little bald on top....I hope it is not a sign of things to come. It is absolutely amazing to me how much I love him. I did not think I had this much love in me to give, but God has given us this wonderful gift of a son and with it he gave us the capacity in our love tanks that we needed.

Well, that is all. Sorry for the soapbox. I am in football withdrawal by the way :o).