Gender Matters?

I have been reading a fascinating book written by Leonard Sax called "Gender Matters". It is the first truly compelling book on the subject I have read to date. Typically, books on similar topics either bash cultural influences on gender roles (and some even say everything to do with gender is nothing but a social construct) to trying to convince you to use gender stereotypes, both positive and negative, in raising and educating children. What I find fascinating about this book is that it does neither. It also does not bemoan the beleaguered state of male education or the cultural stereotypes that still foster pay inequities for women, the glass ceiling, etc. It acknowledges all of these things as forces, but the content is focused purely on the scientific and biological difference in all primate species between men and women. It does not preach absolutes....Individuals are individuals. It does, however, lay out a series of scientific facts about the ways men and women are different (it goes to great lengths to use the word different....not better or worse, but just different) such as:

*The construct of the type of receptors in Male and Female eyes and how this impacts how we see color, shapes, objects in motion, etc.
*The differences in male and female ear construction that lead to more acute senses of hearing at different volume and wave lengths between the two
*Differences in behavior around risk taking
*Differences in how we interact in single gender groups (How male monkeys play with male monkeys, females with females, etc.)
*Differences in aggression and the effects of brain chemistry
*How sexual orientation has no impact on many of the biological differences in gender (gay men see and hear the same as "straight" men, for example)
*And more

All in all, it is a fascinating book and one I highly suggest all parents read. It talks a great deal about how to use both single sex and mixed gender classrooms, using what we know about gender differences in learning, to make math and science more accessible (generally speaking) to women and writing and art more accessible (generally speaking) to boys. In general, it talks about how to continue to improve the educational experience for both females and males. It also talks about how to work with children who don't seem to fully fall within the pattern being described. No overt political agenda have I found yet, which also makes it an truly enjoyable read.

Responsibility and Fatherhood

It has been a while since my last post. I am not sure why it has taken me so long, but I think it is because I have literally been thinking about the topic I am posting on today. Will is six weeks old tomorrow. He is changing so incredibly fast as anyone who is paying attention to our family photo album knows well. I have been thinking a great deal about the responsibility I have as a father. It's a lot and on somedays I feel up to it and on others I don't. I guess if all I had to worry about was being what our more "sensitive popular culture" defines as a good father (supportive, participative, coddle them, give them memories, teach the citizenship, expose them to the world, etc.) things would not be too bad. And, it's not like culture's list is a) a bad list or b) an accomplishable list. In many ways it is a spectacular list that outlines the resurrgence of the necesarry role of fathers in the lives of their children. In many ways, it is almost undoable.

Here is my issue with what culture is currently defining as fatherhood. It focuses entirely on the role of the father in the life of the child rather than a set of outcomes that we would like to see for the child. It's not: "raise children who play well with with others" but "spend time with your child". It seems prescriptive to me. If we take care of our responsibilities and make sure to do everything right, things will work out fine for the kid. In many cases, this may very well prove to be true but it makes you wonder about what society has in mind when they think about the outcomes we want for the children we raise.

This takes me to my last point and the real reason I am writing this message today. As a Christian, I have a much larger calling as a father than what society has stated. I am responsible for the spiritual upbrining of my son. That means that on my day of judgement, God will hold me accountable for my actions in this most crucial role. Of course, God is gracious and we all make mistakes, and yadda yadda. I guess the bottom line is that as I have been thinking about how I can work to raise a son who loves Jesus, I have become extremely aware of two things 1) How weak I am spiritually and 2) How little I actually have in terms of an intimate and intensly personal relationship with Jesus. I have great belief and faith in Christ and His promises and glory. I have great knowledge about His word and commandments. But do I love, really love, the being that is Christ. What do I do that seeks out a real relationship with Christ? Isn't that the whole point? And, to this point, how do I help my son have a real, meaningful, alive, thriving, and personal and loving relationship with Christ?

I think this is my highest calling as a father. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not even sure where to fully start. I'm not sure that I can even fully commit "everything" in this pursuit yet. But, this is a pursuit that begins as I open myself up to Christ each day and it is one I will begin pursuing with earnest.

Things with Will are fantastic. He is verbalizing more and moving around more. He has amazing head strength and is already holding his head up pretty well. He is also going a little bald on top....I hope it is not a sign of things to come. It is absolutely amazing to me how much I love him. I did not think I had this much love in me to give, but God has given us this wonderful gift of a son and with it he gave us the capacity in our love tanks that we needed.

Well, that is all. Sorry for the soapbox. I am in football withdrawal by the way :o).